


Weak

by reallydontcare4



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-18 03:31:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5896456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reallydontcare4/pseuds/reallydontcare4
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Since it took me a while to post this, I'm posting the second chapter right after the first.</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Since it took me a while to post this, I'm posting the second chapter right after the first.

DAN’S POV  
I walked along the snowy street, humming quietly under my breath. I was making my way to Phil’s house, and I was honestly quite eager to spend the weekend with him. His parents were out, so we could spend the time cuddling and eating junk food all the time… among other things.

We’ve been together for a while, and it felt really good. I know I’m only a teenager, but I feel like I might be falling in love. Is that too fast? Probably. But, I realized with a grin, I don’t really care.  
Ah, finally. I shake myself a little in a last attempt to bite back the cold nipping at my cheeks, to no avail. Reaching out, I let my hand rap on the door a few times. Nothing. That’s strange. I knocked a bit more, before trying the handle. The door flew open. Even stranger. He knew I was coming, right?

Obviously not. As I come in, I look around. Then, my eyes settle on the corner. There’s Phil. And someone else. The unknown boy has Phil pressed against the wall, kissing him passionately.

I let out a horrified gasp, and Phil’s eyes shoot open and find mine. Without thinking, I turn around and shoot out the door, my flower crown fluttering to the ground behind me. I hear him call my name, but it’s too late.

I’m gone.

PHIL’s POV  
I reach into the cupboard and pull out my last packet of popcorn. I had a movie planned for when Dan comes over, his favorite one. The microwave starts to buzz as it cooks, and I hurry back into the living room. Dan was expected in less than five minutes, I realize with an excited giggle (which I would never admit to).

I check around for mess once more. _Knock_ _knock_! What? He’s here? He’s early!

“One sec!” I shout, grabbing the hot popcorn, bouncing it around and almost spilling it in an attempt to not burn myself.

Grinning, I open the door. And then I almost slam it closed. There, right on my doorstep, stood Alex. Alex was my ex from a year or two ago, but he dumped me. Honestly, at this point, I was glad he did. He wasn’t the best to me. I stood in shock for a minute, staring into his green eyes.

“Hey, Philly.” The way he said that made me shudder. Only Dan called me that.

“Alex! Wh-what are you doing here?” I stutter nervously.

“I made a mistake a year ago. I love you.” He tried to look earnest, but I wasn’t buying it.

“So you got dumped?” I raise an eyebrow. He looks sheepish for a second before regaining his composure.

“I want you, Phil.” He takes a few steps forward and I automatically take more steps back.

He keeps coming closer, and I keep backing up. Eventually, I find that I’ve been stupid enough to back myself into a corner, and I watch his movements warily. I should have slammed the door.

Suddenly, he lunged forward and pinned me to the wall. He began to kiss me fiercely, shoving his face onto mine. I close my eyes and ball my fists, waiting for it to end. Then, a gasp sounds in the room. My eyes shoot open.

Dan. He’s here. I try to push Alex off of me again, because Dan distracted him enough to slacken his grip. Heaving him off of me, I run to the door and shout his name. He had to understand, it wasn’t what it looked like. I would never cheat on him! Looking down, I see his rose flower crown at my feet. I pick it up and look desperately up the street, but it was too late.

He’s gone.


	2. Anger and Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry!
> 
> WARNING: A lot of swearing in this chapter.

__DAN’S POV  
I shot through the near-empty streets, dodging trash cans and struggling not to slip. The tears beginning to form make it that much harder to go on.

I go on for a while, but gradually begin to slow down. My mind wasn’t even really processing what had happened. It kept replaying the events, trying to make sense out of them. Walking. Happy. Door. Confused. Phil. Heartbroken.

My head simply refused to wrap itself around the situation. Who was that guy? What did I see? Was it on purpose? I stumble through the last block to my house, numbly staggering up the steps.

I slink through the house quickly, ignoring my parents’ looks. Collapsing onto my bed, everything suddenly became clear. Phil. He was kissing that boy. That boy who wasn’t me. He was cheating on me.

But he wouldn’t! He cares about me. He loves me. He wouldn’t. But he did.

Doesn’t he care about me? Doesn’t he love me? Didn’t I matter to him? Did I _ever_ matter to him?

The tears slip down my face as I thought of myself earlier. So happy, so eager. So unaware. I thought he loved me. It was naïve of me to think he could.

In an instant, anger flooded through me and replaced my sadness. Who the fuck did he think he was? Playing with me like that? What the fuck was that? He even left the door unlocked, like he wanted me to find them.

The sick son of a bitch. What’s that other guy got that I don’t? He had a leather jacket, combat boots, stupid slicked hair.

Oh. _Oh_. That’s what he had. He was punk. He was stronger. Here I was, dressed in fucking pastels and flowers. That’s what I didn’t have. Strength. Intimidation. I was weak. So Phil crushed me.

I turned my head and saw right into my closet. Soft hues of pink and blue as far as the eye can see.

That’s it. That’s fucking it. I stand up and stare into my closet. Pushing the other clothes aside, I don’t even care how they fall to the ground. I dig up the outfit I wore once a while ago. I bought an all-black tough outfit for Phil, to see how he’d react. I slip it on and look down. I don’t look like me. Good.

I take a step forward and hear a crunch. Under my foot was my favorite flower crown. The one Phil got me for my birthday. I feel a pang of pain run through my heart, and my eyes sting a little more. I shouldn’t blame him. It was me. I drove him away.

But I couldn’t admit that. I didn’t want to let myself admit that. It was him, of course it was him. He used me, cheated me, crushed me.

He broke me.

PHIL’S POV  
My hand tightened its grip on the flower crown as I took a step back into my house. What was I going to do? I messed everything up. I ruined it.

Then, someone cleared their throat and my head shot up. No.

 _No_. I didn’t ruin everything, Alex did. He ruined me a year ago, and he came back to finish the job.

“Um, who the fuck was that?” He sounded betrayed. I bit back a disgusted laugh. _Who was that?_

“Get out.” I don’t even look at him, my eyes are fixed onto the roses on the accessory in my hands.

“What?” He sounds fucking surprised.

“Get. The fuck. Out!” My voice is icy, and he even takes a small step back himself.

He sends a nasty look my way before hurrying out, and I slam the door behind him. Sinking down it, my mind catches up. Dan. Oh god, Dan. How was I going to fix this? WHY DIDN’T I SLAM THE FUCKING DOOR?

My hands clenched and unclenched. He was so soft, and sweet. But all I could see were his eyes when he came in.

His warm brown eyes were full of hurt, of pain, of betrayal. Things I never thought I would cause.

Oh god. Part of me knew it wasn’t my fault, but Dan’s eyes kept popping up and flooding me with pained guilt.

What the fuck did I do?

 


	3. School

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long, I kept procrastinating!!

PHIL’S POV  
I trudged along dejectedly, the gloomy sky reflecting my mood. Shifting my backpack that was hanging off of one of my shoulders, I let out a frustrated sigh. I’d been texting and calling Dan all weekend, and yet hadn’t gotten even a single acknowledgement that he’d seen them. I’d gone to his house, but no one answered. I hoped no one was home.

I felt terrible for what I did to Dan, but part of me was angry because _I didn’t do anything to Dan._ He thought I did though, and with reason. I could have stopped Alex, could have closed the door. But instead I backed myself into the corner in fear. Weak.

I entered the school and started on my way to first period. I bumped into some guy on the way.

“Sorry.” I mumble, glancing up and stopping myself. Before I can stop myself, I hear my mouth release a sharp gasp. Dan stood in front of me in all black, with combat boots. A leather jacket had replaced his flower crown as leading accessory, and his hair was styled upward in a quiff.

My first thought was ‘This isn’t Dan.’ Followed by ‘Damn he looks pretty hot though.’ His eyes were colder than usual, but they seemed to be masking something. After a moment or two, he brushed roughly past me and walked off. I turned to follow him, but PJ cut in front of me, shooting me a disgusted glare as he quickly chased after Dan.

As I sat in class, my kind-of friends greeted me. We weren’t actually friends, but we shared interests in music and style choices (they were also a punk-bearing group). They weren’t always the best people, and today was no exception.

“Hey, did you hear about Howell?” I pressed my lips together and scooted back to stay out of the conversation.

“Yeah, I heard he finally got rid of that fucking gay garb he had on before.”

“What a loser, he’s such a wannabe.”

“At least he realized what a little bitch he was before.”

“No one liked him anyways.”

I couldn’t stand it anymore. My chair squealed against the ground as I feverishly pushed it back and stalked out of the room.

DAN’S POV  
I walked through the halls with a fake sense of confidence, my smirk barely hiding my pain. It felt weird being this. This new person was never who I was. My leather jacket squeaked a bit as my arms brushed past it and I kept on my plastered smile. My hair felt dry and my head lacked the familiar feeling of the small petals. I took a small breath and continued forward, but was stopped by my friend, PJ.

“Dan! What, did you borrow Phil’s clothes or something?” His chuckles die as he sees my cold glare. “Or not. Speaking of, where is he?”

“How am I supposed to know? Probably making out with some other guy.”

PJ’s eyes softened. “Oh, Dan.”

“I’m fine.” I say immediately, a warning tone to my voice.

“Are you sure?” PJ said in disbelief as I nodded. “It’s not your fault, Dan. You don’t have to change who you are.”

“Peej…” I said tiredly, my feet dragging me forward. In my moment of hesitation, someone runs straight into me.

As Phil registers in my mind, I see PJ tense against the wall. I was unsure of whether or not Phil saw him, because his eyes were trained on me.

I felt my own eyes harden in an attempt to hide how much this really hurts, and I stare him down. I can’t bring myself to move for a few moments, then I brush past him without a second glance. After just a few steps, I realize I’d been holding my breath. I bit back bitter tears as I hurry into the bathroom. I should be alone, seeing as class was about to start.

PJ then followed me in. Great. I leaned against the wall and took deep breaths in.

“Dan, are you okay?” PJ rushed to my side and tried to comfort me.

“Shouldn’t you be in class?” I tell him, screwing my eyes shut.

“Shouldn’t you?” He retorts. Fair point.

I slide down the wall and he follows me down. “Why do I suck so much?” I ask him in a small whisper.

“You don’t. You’re awesome and funny and cool.” He’d taken on a protective tone now as he wrapped an arm around me. “If Phil doesn’t see that, it’s his loss.”

“I appreciate your lies, Peej.”

“And I appreciate you.” He says matter-of-factly.

I lean into his touch and start to full-on cry. I would be embarrassed, but we’d known each other for many years now.

I sat back and wiped my tears. PJ decided to try and lighten the mood.

“C’mon. Let’s clean you up and get back out there. We really should be in class.”


	4. Stronger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fluff ending, everything's ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long to update!

DAN’S POV  
I awoke the next day much like the one before it. Sad and insecure. As I shrugged on the tight leather jacket once more, it felt just a little bit stiffer. The boots felt a little darker, and I felt a little less like myself. It’s been a few days since what happened with Phil, but at least I still have Peej with me.

I’m starting to miss who I used to be. Without realizing it, my hand had reached out and was ghosting over my collection of flower crowns, the little petals ruffling softly. Maybe later. I wasn’t ready to go back to that yet. To being small, weak, fragile. I frown as I sling my backpack over my shoulder and head out to school, nodding goodbye to my dad in the kitchen. 

As I go through the halls, I still hear the whispers and giggles as people stare. My classmates are getting used to it anyways. They know I’ve changed. They like me better this way. I step into the classroom with my head down. Not looking up, I start toward my seat.

Suddenly, I hear a quiet gasp and some steps of someone hurrying off. My head shoots up, and on my desk lies a rose, slightly crumpled but beautiful nonetheless. I look around and see some kids out of their seats. Out of the corner of my eye I see Phil looking determinedly forward, his face glowing pink.

Part of me wonders, but I feel almost sure it wouldn’t be because of me. Checking around once more, I settle down into my seat and stare down at the rose. It’s almost breathtaking, the soft velvety shade of red, a delicate beauty. Class seems especially hard to focus on, not that AP Bio ever is.

Afterwards I shuffle to my locker and see a note taped onto it. ‘Meet me outside after school.’ Nice specifics there, Mr. Me. I bit my lip in confused contemplation before feeling a hand grab onto my shoulder.

“Whatcha got, there, Danny?” I cringed at the nickname as PJ used his leverage to swing himself forward for a better look.

“I don’t know. A random note. Probably nothing.” 

“Are you going to do it?” He nudged and raised his eyebrows.

“Are you kidding? No. It’s probably someone tricking me or something.”

“Sure, like no one would ever want a piece of that.” He raised his eyebrows suggestively and laughed as I shoved him away. My eyebrows furrowed together as I tried to look anywhere but towards him in an attempt to hide my blushing face.

“Shut up.” I retorted playfully.

PHIL’S POV  
Breathe. Alright, it’s going to be fine. What’s the worst that can happen? All I’m doing is standing with a rose at the desk of my ex-boyfriend who thinks I cheated on him and hates me and oh god what am I doing? This was a bad idea. Dan loves flowers, but we both hate confrontations and I am not prepared. This was 100% not the way to go. My hands crumple the edges of the petals, and I rush to straighten them out.

I hear a sound and my head goes to the door. Dan walks in with head lowered, thinking of something else. I panic and gasp as he nears. The rose plops dejectedly onto his desk as I lunge to my chair, a few moments before a confused Dan reaches his desk. Did he really not see that? He looks around and I keep my head solid, facing the front of the classroom with wide eyes as my face burns. All through class, my eyes drift to Dan, whose gaze is fixed to the flower in his hands, playing with it. It’s going to be a long day.

Finally, the school day ends, and I’m pacing outside the school entrance. Dan usually waits for most of the others to pack up and leave before getting up just to avoid the stampede of people, and I’d never felt so grateful for that. I left a note on his locker, now let’s see if he actually meets up with me. Does he know it’s me? I didn’t sign the letter, for fear that he wouldn’t come if he did know. That was probably the right move on my part.

“Hey.” I turn around and groan. Are you kidding me?

“Alex. Great timing, as usual.” I say sarcastically as I shoot him a don’t-get-closer look.

“Waiting for me?” He takes a step towards me anyways, and I decide to get closer as well.

“Actually, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.” I make my voice a little lower as I bit my lip, getting closer.

He looks surprised, but his confident smirk is immediately right back in place. “Oh, really?”

“Yeah.” I put a hand on his chest, before forcefully shoving him away. “Get the hell out of my life!”

He stumbled back, and looked like he was going to retort something. I wasn’t done yet. 

“Did you really think you could just walk back into my life and I would fall at your feet? God, how little do you actually think of me? I was finally happy! I had the most amazing boyfriend, and as usual, you go and ruin everything! I can’t even believe you. Please, just go.” He scoffs and walks off, but I don’t even care. 

Movement catches my eye, and I see a figure lurking in the corner. Dan steps out awkwardly and holds up the note.

“How long have you been standing there, then?”

“Long enough, I’m guessing.” There’s still a fair gap between us, and the tension is almost suffocating.

“I didn’t kiss him, you know. Err, I mean, I didn’t want to, he just kind of did and I didn’t know what to do and-” Dan put his hand up to stop me as he shyly took a few steps closer.

“I’m sorry for thinking you would, it’s just that it looked like that, and I just felt so insecure, and just…” His voice died on his lips as he shuffled and gazed down at his feet. This was not a day for full sentences, it seemed.

“Are you mad at me?” His question feels like a slap to the face. It was the last thing I’d expect him to say.

“What? No, of course not! You didn’t do anything.” At this point, he’d gotten close enough so that I could reach my hand out and take his. Everything felt silent and peaceful for a moment.

“Oh!” I said, quickly ducking down and rooting around in my backpack. Dan looked confused, but that melted into happy disbelief as I pulled out a small rose flower crown. It was the one he’d dropped at my house. He smiled widely as I placed it on his head. 

“You kept it?”

I kissed him on the nose and he bit his lip to hold back a giggle. “Of course I did.”

He took my hand once more and everything felt okay. Together we were strong. We could fight against everything the universe threw at us. This life was ours, and we could do anything we wanted to.

So let’s change the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, hope you liked it! Last chapter for this fic.


End file.
